Thirteen Reasons Why
by DramaDelicacy
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke is in the list of Haruno Sakura's reasons on why she killed herself. There are 13 reasons and he must listen to them all. xSasuxSakux
1. Post Office

"How long do you want it to arrive?" asked the postman.

I shook my head as I pressed my thumb and finger to my forehead, massaging it. The headache returned.

"It doesn't matter," I said. He looked at me and nodded and put aside the shoebox now neatly wrapped by newspaper and securely taped.

"That will be $15," he said. I took out my wallet and gave him the exact amount. Then I turned and left the post office without saying another word.

Her voice and her words echoed again and again in my head.

Thirteen reasons…

She died for thirteen reasons.

I walked farther and farther away from the post office where her last dying words were securely recorded in the tapes in the shoebox. I had heard what she wanted me to hear.

I was on her list.

I was one of the thirteen reasons she killed herself.

Haruno Sakura died two weeks ago.

And I was one of the reasons why.

-

-

You guessed it. It's based on "13 Reasons Why" by Jay Asher. It's an amazing book and I recommend it to all of you who haven't read it yet.

Reviews are appreciated,

DD


	2. Shoe Box

The package first arrived in my house exactly 12 days after her death. I was on my way to pick up Naruto on my way to school when I stumbled upon it.

It was placed on top of the front door's rug. The neatly packed brown package was sitting there as if waiting for me to trip upon it. And I did trip.

I mean, who the heck would look down as they walk out their own house thinking nothing would be on the way. Except that that day, something was on my way. I picked up the package, and tried to find out who it was from.

It confused me why the package had nothing written on it except my address and the post office's stamp.

Curiosity overwhelmed me and I took the package to the garage.

"Sasuke, get to school! What are you doing in the garage?" mom yelled at me as she saw me walk to the garage from the kitchen's window.

"This won't take long," I replied.

I was wrong.

I took the scissor placed in the tool box and ripped the brown wrapping apart. Inside was a shoe box. I frowned, completely confused, but opened it anyways. It might actually be for dad, or Itachi. Or even mom.

I hesitated for a second, my hand on the box's top. But something written on the side of the shoe box caught my eyes: my name.

It was scribbled in a hurry. I frowned as I tried figuring out whose handwriting it belonged to. I shrugged as no one came to mind and opened the top of the shoe box.

Inside, there were 7 tapes neatly labeled. Although, from the look of it, it looked as if the tapes' box had been opened and closed for so many times. Someone must've been listening to them again and again.

The question raised was, _who_?

Underneath all the tapes was a piece of paper. I took it and read what was typed on it. Yes, typed, not written. I wondered why whoever sent this chose to type whatever he/she wanted me to read instead of writing it. But I shrugged anyways. Who cares? Obviously not me, an Uchiha, no matter how confused they were they should never show that they cared.

Mistake number one.

My mind was suddenly distant as I thought about _her_.

Her unusual pink hair had always caught my interest. But back to the way of the Uchiha again, we never care. Her eyes, especially, was what attracted me to her. I could still remember the way she stared at me every time we were assigned together in a group. Intelligence and confidence was always there in those monochromatic green orbs of hers. During her last days, though, those brilliant eyes seemed to dim.

I hadn't failed to notice that. I just… "_didn't_" care.

I shook my head as I came back to my senses. I read what was on it.

_Listen to all the tapes and follow the instructions._

That was it.

I frowned, even more confused, as I looked at the labels written on each of the tape's box. Tape 1 (A-B), Tape 2 (A-B), Tape 3 (A-B), Tape 4 (A-B), Tape 5 (A-B), Tape 6 (A-B), Tape 7 (A).

I turned and my eyes scanned the garage, looking for the cassette player that Itachi bought a few weeks ago. He usually kept them somewhere near the tool box and as I moved the tool box aside, there it was, the silver colored cassette player.

I took it and walked back to the stool where I placed the shoe box. I took the one labeled as Tape 1 and snapped opened the case. I inserted the tape into the player and played side A.

I sat on the stool next to the one where the shoe box was and looked out of the garage at the driveway.

_Mom would be so mad_.

I glanced at my watch and I was sure to be late. I didn't care, though; I just wanted to listen to this one side of the tape. I can listen to the others later. Curiosity had taken over me completely.

It wasn't like I'd be affected just because I listened to some set of tapes.

Mistake number two.

_**Play**_

As the background noises in the tape disappeared slowly, I heard her.

Haruno Sakura.

The girl who had kill herself about a week ago.

_Okay. So hello. This is Haruno Sakura here, alive and well of course. Well, not well, but certainly alive._

_First of all, I'd like you to listen to the tapes until the end. All seven of them._

_If this package is sent to you. It means you are in my list._

_You are one of the thirteen reasons why I killed myself._

And my world crumbled right on spot.

**. . .**

Ah God, I love this story. I seriously do. Sasuke will be a bit OOC, although I will try my best to make him not.

Reviews are appreciated.

MB.


	3. Tape 1 Side A

**Tape One**

Side A

. . .

My hands were cold and frozen. One hand clutching the wooden table while the other stuck on the silver cassette player. Her voice spoke to me through the headphones. And it was the very thing that made me lost my balance to this world at the same time that it was the only thing that held on to me while I was on the verge of vomiting.

_I don't mean to torture you or anything. I just want you to know why. _

I closed my eyes and tried to steady my breathing.

_Not torture… Ha! Sakura, you're doing exactly that right now_.

Her voice continued as she spoke to the speaker.

_Like I said, if you are sent this package, you are in my list._

_I have another request, other than that you have to listen to all seven tapes until the end._

_That other request would be to send this package to the person whose name is listed after yours. If you fail to do this, or you are too ashamed to, I have someone I trust who have another copy of this tapes. _

_Yeah, you got it. If you fail to pass it, those tapes will be broadcasted and everyone will know what's supposed to only be between you and I._

_Lastly, there's a map underneath the paper with message on it. I want you to go to the places I'll mention._

I looked at the shoebox and pulled out the map. I unfolded it, and figured out right away that it was a map of our town. Some of the places were circled and they had alphabets on it. I closed my eyes again after I placed the map on the table.

I heaved as I massaged my forehead's temples. Damn headache.

"Sakura, what on Earth are you thinking?"

As if able to hear me, and I knew this must be the very thing spoke out by those who received the package before me, she spoke:

_What on Earth am I thinking? Well, I don't know to be honest. I just feel that you need to know this._

I could hear her heave. Was she crying? Or holding out the urge to do so?

_Now, let's move on shall we?_

And suddenly, she took a deep breath and started singing.

_I wish I knew how it would feel to be free._

_I wish I could break all the chains holding me._

_I wish, _

_I could say all the things that I should say._

_Say 'em loud, say 'em clear._

_For the whole wide world to hear._

_Yes, this was what you sang to me a long ass time ago. Remember that, _

_Gaara?_

My heart stopped. It felt like it did. And suddenly I felt my breakfast racing to my throat. I ran outside of the garage and went to bushes where it was impossible for mom to watch me threw up my breakfast.

Gaara. The cold insomniac bastard who broke her heart while letting the world knew about it. Those green apathetic eyes had always made me sick. Every time I saw the top of his red hair, or those dead green eyes of his I had the urge to throw the nearest object to his head, and –if I'd be so lucky- crushed it.

But of course, an Uchiha never _ever_ care.

Nor would we ever show any emotion we felt.

Mistake number three.

She continued speaking after pausing for a while. It really seemed as if she was talking to me live instead of speaking to a microphone weeks ago. Because after I'd finished vomiting, she took a deep breath and continued.

_I'm sorry if somehow your breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snacks had managed to escape your throat. Now, let's continue shall we?_

_Gaara. I loved you. You know that right? Of course you do. _

_You were my first love. And I thought, when we were going out, that my life wouldn't get anywhere near imperfect._

_But I was wrong. So horribly, horribly wrong._

_You remember that song, though, don't you? It was the very song we sang together whenever we felt depressed or sad or whatever over life. I thought you were the perfect person for me, and that we'd be together for life._

_We have so much in common, was my thought during those first weeks when we were together._

_Then why?_

A sob. Was she crying?

I stood up and walked to the garage. I closed the shoe box and dumped it in my school bag. Then I left the garage.

No, not for school. The map I held on my left hand felt heavy. So did the backpack.

_Ah, sorry. I'd lost myself for a while there. You are holding on to the map, I believe?_

Yes.

_Good. Go to the place circled and labeled A. _

I unfolded the map and found A. It was the Konoha Park. I walked toward that place, not even caring that I'd miss school today. Not even caring whether Naruto'd throw fits at me when he knew I didn't pick him up.

Her voice was the only thing that kept me to my senses.

_Of course, though, Gaara, you ruined my happily-ever-after-can't-get-anymore-perfect-than-this thought. _

_Thank you._

Sarcasm never failed you, Sakura.

_I mean, I know you didn't mean it when you kissed that bitch in front of me while we were _still_ dating, right?_

_No, of course _yes_._

I remember that. It was such a huge thing at school because somehow, suddenly, Gaara was no longer with Sakura. No one remembered them breaking up, but all of a sudden he had a new girl by his side. I remembered her cold green eyes stared at him without emotion whenever he passed by her.

It was as if her feelings for him had been completely obliterated.

That was the first time that I noticed her other side. The side that showed unfathomable darkness. The side that she had always been hidden so well.

At the same time, though, even though no tears were shed whenever I saw her saw him, I could feel her pain. She didn't show it through tears, but those eyes and expression of hers made her a pretty easy person to read.

Although, I was probably the only one who had noticed this.

_So, now you understand why you're on my list?_

_You play a small part in having me make the decision to end my life._

_**Pause**_

I released my index finger from the pause button and took off the headphones for a while. I looked at the playground, and then at the swings located in the middle of everything.

I took a deep breath and walked toward the swing. I pressed play.

_**Play**_

_The swings have so many memories of us together Gaara._

_I don't want to make you feel bad as you hear this._

You're not a good liar Sakura.

I heard her took another deep breath, and she continued singing:

_I wish I could share all the love that's in my heart._

_It moved all the bars that keep us apart._

You gave him enough love Sakura. He was just another asshole.

Suddenly, I had the urge to run to school and _really_, finally smash his head.

_And I wish you could know how it feels to be me._

_Then you'd see, and agree,_

_That every man should be free._

_I wish,_

_I could be like a bird in the sky._

_How sweet it would be, if I found I could fly._

I looked at the sky that had somehow lack of those white fluffy clouds. And instead, it was blue, really blue. The sun hid behind those fluffy clouds that weren't caught on my gaze. A bird flew across the sky.

_Well I'd soar to the sun, and look down_

_At the sea,_

_And I sing 'cuz I know,_

_How it feels to be free._

_I wish I knew how it would feel to be free._

_I wish I could break all the chains holding me._

_And I wish, I could say all the things that I wanna say._

_Say 'em loud, say 'em clear,_

_For the whole wide world to hear._

_Good times, wasn't it,_

_Gaara?_

_Next tape._

_**Stop**_

I blinked as I noticed water drops on the ground, making the brown darker. I looked up at the sky and frowned, it didn't rain.

Then, I noticed they were my tears. I took off my headphones and cried for the soul and life of the one girl I had somehow loved.

I just… couldn't get close enough to her.

Mistake number four.

**. . .**

I know. It's a long ass chapter.

I really enjoy writing this. And well, somehow this chapter is… quite angsty although I didn't really plan for it to be.

The song is by the **Lighthouse Family**, titled _I wish I knew how it would feel to be free_.

Reviews are appreciated.

MB.

Note: Yes, when I feel like writing I write fast. Sorry if somehow the update is too fast. But, I've a feeling I won't be able to update as fast.

If I'd fail to update. It means the next update will be June next year.


	4. Tape 1 Side B

**Tape One**

Side B

. . .

I took a deep breath as I flipped open the cassette's top and turned the tape around so it was side B playing now. I stared at the headphones for a while, and then took another deep breath as I readied my heart and mental, and put them on.

I sat on the swing and stared down at the ground. My eyes were swollen from the crying, but I had to move on now.

To the next thing she had to say.

_**Play**_

_Welcome back._

_And thanks for actually able to move on to part two. _

_Now, first of all, I want you to go to the place labeled B in your map._

I unfolded the map and noticed the place right away. It was the public library's café. I stood up and walked to the bus stop so it could take me to the place she wanted me to go to.

_You were my first friend._

_Heck, I even thought we might be best friends._

_But I'm not dumb. I know what friends do to each other and how they treat each other._

_And you, my darling, are nowhere near my understanding of the definition._

_Let's cut to the chase, shall we? This is for you, honey, _

_Ino-pig._

Ah, so that was who. It wasn't much of a shock when she said her name, I had already guessed. Yamanaka Ino was the first person who had approached Sakura, the pink haired freak who'd arrived in town two years ago.

And at the beginning, it did look as if they were getting along okay,

until that list came along.

I stood by the bus stop as I waited for the next bus to come. I closed my eyes as I concentrated on her words.

_I really thought, Ino, that you of all people would understand me best._

_Once again, I was proven wrong. _

_You were always there whenever people mocked me about my hair, or my wide forehead. You'd jump in front of me, and yell at those people, or even –occasionally- gave them a slap or two._

_I was determined to do exactly the same to you._

_Because you were my friend._

_Let me ask you this, then, my lovely beautiful Ino,_

I shivered at her tone as she said that last sentence. It sounded rather hostile and menacing. And I couldn't be wrong, after all that Ino'd done to her, I wouldn't blame her if her love toward her friend had turned into deep hatred.

_what the _fuck_ is wrong with you, bitch?_

Ouch.

_You know, after what you did to me I tried recalling what I might've done wrong to you, and guess what? I can't even come up with the times where we've actually fought and hate each other._

_Sure we fight over boys, but we know deep inside that they're not an actual legit fight._

_You don't need to tell me why, pig, because by the time you get this I'd be around ten feet underground anyways. Unless you are actually planning to dig up my grave and give the reason to my dead body._

_But I know the reason. _

_And guess what? _

_Everyone else does too. Why, you ask?_

_Because you were so fucking obvious in ignoring me and staying away from me. Not to mention those annoying pleading looks you gave me whenever you pass by. I'm not blind to know that they're as pitiful as you._

_Thank you for that though, _

_Of all people,_

The bus stopped in front of me and I got on. I took my seat around the middle of the bus and sat by the window. I looked outside of the window as the bus went pass by the neighborhood. Fuck school.

All I needed was to finish listening to all seven of her tapes; otherwise it'd be a burden for me. It'd be too much to bear.

Her voice went on:

_I thought you'd be the one who would know me best and not believe in those ugly gossips. Oh, but wait, you _do _know that none of those gossips are true, don't you?_

What?

I frowned to myself at her statement. Really? This was true?

I thought Ino had believed in it deeply that she'd decided Sakura was too much of a whore to be friends with.

For a second, I did believe in the gossips as well.

But, even though all I did was look at her while trying to understand her from afar, I knew those gossips must be false.

As an Uchiha, though, I wasn't allowed to show that I cared. She was none of my business.

Mistake number five.

_Guess what honey, I know that you know I'd done nothing wrong._

_You just feel good that I look bad, right?_

_You've succeeded._

_Do you even know, though, how it feels to feel so alone and tiny? Do you fucking know how it feels when people stare at you with cold accusing looks over something you had no fucking idea about?_

_Do you?_

Sakura…

I brought my hand to my forehead and leaned on it. I closed my eyes, my head was spinning fast and it started aching again.

The pain you had to go through, all alone…

I'm sorry.

_But, yes, Ino, you've succeeded in making me look bad, making me look like shit while you make people pity you and finally you yourself _alone_ reach for the fucking corrupted star called the "Hot/Not List"._

I knew it.

That list.

That was when I'd realized things begun to get worse for Sakura. The first issue with Gaara wasn't a big thing. It went away after a while and people stopped caring.

But the list.

It led to many other unnerving gossips. Could that be what caused her suicide? Could that be the major cause?

Then…

What role did I have in all this?

I wondered, though, who the next person would be. I knew about the list, I just didn't know who started it.

_Some friend you are, Ino. _

_I loved you but you… _

_Well, know what? Let's put it this way._

_In the end, you're just another bitch not worth protecting. Don't get me wrong, though, why would I hate you? I won't hang around for long anyways._

_The end._

_Let's move on then, shall we?_

_You know it buddy, since I mentioned the list, that your name would be next._

I got off the bus and entered the café. I ordered coffee, hoping it would reduce the headache that had just gotten worse. I placed my bag on the seat next to me and looked down at the table.

I frowned as there were scribbled messy handwritings on this table. I read it slowly, trying to make out every single word.

'_The awesome book geeks: Ino+Sai+Sakura_'

_Hello, Sai._

Fuck.

Stupid, stupid headache.

_**Stop**_

**. . .**

Reviews make me write. I love them, especially supporting ones.

And, well, since one of my reviewers would like to adopt my story, I'll just make this clear: **This story is not up for adoption. The same goes to my other stories.**

The reason why I wouldn't update until next year is not because I'm facing a horrible writer's block. I just won't have time because of my upcoming exams and all the fucking deadlines.

Although, from the look of it, I'm pretty much addicted to writing this story that I update so damn fast.

I've a feeling this series would end pretty fast.

Reviews are appreciated.

MB.


	5. Tape 2 Side A

**Tape Two**

Side A

. . .

I can still remember the list when it first came out. It was passed around the class during History.

Naruto had passed it to me and I read what was written as the heading, and who was listed on the left side and who on the right.

It was titled _"Hot/Not List"_. The left for the "_Hot"_ and the left for the _"Not"_. A messy vertical line separated the two.

I stared at the play button for a long time while sipping from the coffee once in a while. The messy scribble felt as if it pricked through my index finger that was on top of it.

Sakura, what exactly were you thinking? This torture is almost unbearable.

I took a deep breath and pressed play.

The headache would return. No doubt about that.

_**Play**_

_Okay, so,_

_Let's move back to before the "Hot/Not List" starts okay? And before Ino's true self is revealed, and yeah…_

_Sai, you and me, we first met in the library didn't we? Labeled B, people, B._

I stared at the scribble, and my throat dried. I ordered for water, coffee would do me no good.

_I can still remember how lifeless your eyes are when you first arrived. Somehow, though, I just wanted to cheer you up. You, who always look as if you've been through some massacre and live through it._

_All I wanted to do is to just help you._

Typical Sakura. She couldn't just stand still when the people around her seemed to be in trouble, or troubled.

_I was glad when you could finally smile sincerely. The library, this place, was our hangout spot._

Here? Was she right here when she recorded this? Was she always in each of the places she pointed us to go to? Then…

I looked down at the table.

Was she here, a few weeks ago; sitting on this very place, probably even this very table, recording the very words I'd been hearing to?

_Then, Ino came along. It was a blast, wasn't it?_

_Those times were impossibly fun. _

_For me, anyways._

_When the list came along, I thought of it as an amusement at first too. But it all went away when some people started to take it seriously. _

_I mean, what the fuck is wrong with them, don't you agree Sai?_

_It's just…_

_A stupid list._

_But, apparently, as we all know, people don't seem to agree with that._

_Those who you put in the "Not" list seemed to disagree on your one decision: me. It confuses me why they make it such a big deal that _I'm_ in the "Hot" list._

_Why? Because I've a massive forehead? Because my hair is unusually pink? How adorable of them to be such retards to make a huge deal out of nothing, right? _

Yeah. I remember hearing a few girls talk about how unfair it was for Sakura to be placed in the "Hot" list, and why they weren't.

If I wasn't an Uchiha, I'd tell them why.

Because I had actually agreed that her name was on the "Hot" side of the list.

But I didn't.

Mistake number six.

_Now, Sai, honey,_

I heard the sounds of paper being unfolded and she paused for a while. I frowned as I wondered what it was she read.

_I've just read the list of people's names and their part in these tapes. And, you know, your name actually doesn't belong here._

_It's that list, though, that makes me think._

If_ that list hadn't been written, _if_ that list hadn't been spread around, then probably none of the other events that followed would have had happened either._

_But then, obviously you weren't thinking when you wrote that. If I were you I wouldn't know either that it gave such a huge impact to certain groups of people._

_I guess their judgment is based on Gaara's decision to openly ditch me. I mean, who would want to put Gaara's leftover on the "Hot" list, right?_

_You mean no harm, I know you that well, honey._

_But that list._

_Well, Sai, this tape is not about why you do what you did. I mean, in the beginning, it is just a simple stupid innocent act of putting a name opposite of Ino's right? Yes, we all know you're not attracted to her; your compliments are all a lie._

Sakura.

To state that, knowing that Ino would hear it…

Well, this was true though. We all knew Sai was never attracted to the blond. He just said what he said because he knew she liked it.

Ino was just too happy that someone had called her "pretty" to notice they were all lies.

_But, even though this tape is not about your act,_

_It is about the repercussions of what you did: of the stupid list called the "Hot/Not List". _

_It's… about the things that you didn't plan. Things you didn't see would come._

_**Stop**_

I stared at the scribbled handwriting on the table.

How easy it was to ruin one's life.

I'm sorry, Sakura.

**. . .**

You know, I actually did research and re-read the book. And, opened the website as well. I love how he made a girl voiced out Hannah in the videos.

Well, again, reviews are appreciated.

P.S. I read haunted13's review and it confused me. This fanfiction was in the Romance and Tragedy genre. But I changed it to Angst because it's turning into one.

MB.


	6. Tape 2 Side B

**Tape Two**

Side B

. . .

I glanced at the watch and was shocked that it was almost 2PM. School would be over in an hour. I had officially skipped.

I wondered, if that was the reason why I hadn't seen Gaara at school a few days ago. Was it because he was listening to these tapes while regretting what he did?

Because now, even though my name was yet mentioned, I felt as if I'd make numerous mistakes toward her.

I flipped the tape around and pressed play after ordering orange juice. Water and coffee didn't work well. I hoped the juice would at least help lessen the headache.

_**Play**_

_Now, there are a few things that you would've notice when you press play._

_One, your name have been mentioned and you are just curious to know who's next. _

_Two, your name have not yet been mentioned so you are wondering if it'll pop up next._

_And three, _

You_, specifically, would notice that your name doesn't belong in the list._

_Sai's doesn't, but the list does. _

_Yours, well, you're confused aren't you?_

Who, Sakura?

My heart beat faster as I feared that it would be me.

_In my opinion your name does belong here, in this godforsaken list for you who are listening._

_Let's just tell the world your name, shall we?_

_Hyuuga Hinata._

My heart had almost stopped. Again. And my jaw dropped unconsciously from shock.

One, because it wasn't my name.

Two, because, of all people, it was _Hinata_? The girl who was always nice to everybody? The timid, helpful, patient girl that was Naruto's girlfriend?

_Hyuuga Hinata._

_Pretty, talented, rich, and lastly –and God knows, this is her "best" trait- super friendly and nice to everyone she'd ever encounter. _

_Yes, she _is_ always nice and seemingly easily embarrassed. I mean, who dislike her, let alone hate her?_

_Oh, no, don't get me wrong._

_I don't hate you Hinata._

_I just want you to get rid of that awesome mask you have always put on. _

_I wouldn't have known they're a fake if only Sai's list doesn't come up. Or, if the school's yearbook committee suddenly decided that it's fun to put on a list of the nicest people at school._

God. I remember that.

It was not a shock to see Hinata's name pop up at the very top.

Then why did Sakura mention her name? Because she was actually a faker? Then, did it mean that in Sakura's opinion the Hyuga girl didn't deserve her place?

Sakura… wasn't this just like those other girls' opinion upon your place in the "Hot" list?

_Don't get me wrong, though,_

_I'm not as shallow as those other girls who give a big deal out of my position in the "Hot/Not List"._

What are you, psychic? She could always guess what I was thinking. Though this might be what those other people who was sent the tapes was thinking as they listened to her.

_The reason why I put you up here is not because I hate you. God I don't even dislike you. I believe I've made that clear now that I've repeat myself a few times._

_The reason why your name is in my list, Hinata, is because I need you to know what you've been doing unconsciously._

_**Pause**_

I took one last sip of my orange juice; finishing it, and paid for my drinks at the cashier. Then I moved into the library and positioned myself in the spot where no one could see me. I saw a small red couch next to the window, hidden behind the high busy bookshelves. Just enough for one person to sit there to listen to the messages of a girl who'd killed herself a week ago.

It would be weird to see an Uchiha showed different kinds of emotion while it was obvious he broke down slowly on the inside.

I sat down and pressed play.

_**Play**_

_Now, I really thought, for a short amount of time that we were actually becoming friends._

_You were the only person who was with me when Sai's list came out and everyone suddenly thought I'm such a huge fail bitch who seduced Sai to put my name on the "Hot" side. _

_I had always known you're a nice person, but when you actually pop up and seemingly not minding what other people say about me, I knew I was proven right._

_But, again, I was wrong._

_You know how models pose, right? When they know someone is going to take a picture of them or when someone is watching, they will always act their best, always put on their sweetest perfect smile, and that always make them look good._

_Yeah, well, in high school… _everyone_'s watching._

Damn right.

_Now Hinata, you have the perfect appearance: pretty smooth soft hair. Pretty eyes and perfect facial features. Perfect skin. Well, you get my point. _

_You're perfect. All you gotta do is just _be_ perfect._

_That's where the acting part comes in._

_Now, when I thought we were becoming friends obviously I am wrong. Because I found out that in the end, you just wanted to give off the impression to people, and to me, that you will always be the person who cares for everyone no matter who they are, what they are, or… whose leftover and what part of the list they're on. _

_Because you, at the time, was aiming to be on the top of the list in the school's yearbook._

_And you got it, of course. Everyone anticipates that. _

_That, really, is the only reason why you're on this list._

_Because if you don't want to listen to me when I'm still alive, then you might listen to the message of a dead girl._

_**Stop**_

Wow.

I took a deep breath and took off my headphones.

I closed my eyes and leaned against the window. I looked outside and stared at the grey clouds forming around the horizon. I sighed.

I hated the rain. Especially today.

I stared at my right hand and suddenly my vision blurred.

I covered my face with that hand and took a few deep breaths. Don't break down, Sasuke.

You're an Uchiha. You're strong; you don't care for anything or _anybody_ in particular. You're the ice cold man everyone swoons over at school. The man who made girls go crazy when sighted. The man didn't care about the attention those girls gave him. The man who could never _ever_ break down.

You're an Uchiha, Sasuke. _Do not break down_. Uchihas never broke down.

Mistake number seven.

Because right then, I broke down on spot. Mourning and regretting the life of a girl named Haruno Sakura who took her own life.

**. . .**

I love this story. So much. It's fun writing it.

Biggest thanks would be to Jay Asher for writing the book, which is the very book this story is based on and inspired upon.

Next would be the loyal reviewers. Thank you.

P.S. AnimanicXOX, you asked what exactly did Sai do wrong. Well, I can't give you an answer. You gotta figure it out. Re-read the chapter, kay?

Reviews are appreciated.

MB.


	7. Haruno Sakura

Haruno Sakura was the girl everyone loved. That was before the nasty issues came up.

Haruno Sakura was the girl everyone loved. Just like Hyuuga Hinata, minus the timidity, plus the aggressiveness.

Haruno Sakura was the girl with the massive forehead. Not that it got in the way of her beauty.

Haruno Sakura was the girl with the unusual hair color: pink. But that very color just made her even more perfect. It matched the color of the flower she was named after (_Sakura_), and the season that was her last name (_Haru_). _Haru no Sakura_: Spring's Sakura.

She was the girl loved by everyone.

She was the girl betrayed by the people she loved.

She was the girl who went through severe heartaches.

She was the girl people turned their backs on. These people were the people she loved.

She was the girl people had looked down upon.

She was the girl that they had considered as trash.

She was the girl people had already considered invisible.

These people were the people who were her friends before the issues.

These people were the people who had failed to be her friend.

These people were people who hadn't known her good enough to realize the issues were lies.

Haruno Sakura was misunderstood by many.

Haruno Sakura was not as strong as they thought she was.

Haruno Sakura…

Well,

Sakura just couldn't take it anymore.

When her world fell in an instant around her, she just didn't have the ability to cope.

Haruno Sakura was weak.

And people had been deceived all this time by her tough outer appearance.

They had no idea that she was slowly breaking inside.

They had no idea that she was crying for help from anyone who might care.

They had no idea…

No fucking idea, that she was weak.

They just decided to keep on doing what they'd been doing to her.

Or even better, let's treat her worse.

That'll be fun, won't it? Let's harass her more and see how she reacted to it.

Will the ice cold princess break down?

They had no idea,

That she was crying for help from anyone who might care.

That she was breaking slowly inside.

That she just couldn't take it anymore.

They had no idea,

That Haruno Sakura was weak.

_Help me._

_Anyone?_

_Does anyone of you care for me? Help me,_

_Please?_

**. . .**

I just decided to make a small poem about her in this fic.

And, about Justmyopinion's review, I understand what you mean in your review.

I don't find it mean. I've just notice it myself how… bad Sakura actually is, by recording what she'd to say to the living so they could live in the guilt of killing her indirectly.

The reason why Hinata is in her list, I'm afraid you just have to figure it out yourself. I know it doesn't make sense at all, but I really (this time) want the reader to have their own perspective and opinion upon this story, so I will not tell mine when I wrote this.

Ah, TOK is bliss. It has taken over my way of writing.

And LOL. I'm updating in super speed mode now. Hope you can cope with me.

Reviews are appreciated.

MB.


	8. Tape 3 Side A

**Tape Three**

Side A

. . .

I fell asleep not long after I stopped crying. I was woken up by the voice of the person I wished I wouldn't see for today:

Naruto.

He stood next to the couch, looking down at me.

"Oi, teme, what are you doing here?" he asked when I had finally open my eyes completely. "The teachers were all looking for you, and the head of your '_I love Sasuke-kun_' club went crazy. It's really not like you to skip."

"Yeah, well," I put the cassette player into my bag. I caught Naruto staring at the silver cassette player and his expression changed.

Right then, I wondered if he was also sent the package. Was he in the list as well?

I just wanted to listen to all seven tapes, and get this over with. I knew, though, that her voice and her words will forever linger within me even though it was long after I finished listening to the tapes.

And the guilt…

I closed my eyes and sighed. When I opened them his expression went back to normal already.

"Dobe, what is it?" I asked and he frowned, looking confused.

"What is what?" he asked me innocently.

"I saw you eyeing my cassette player," I said.

"Oh," he said, seemingly shocked, "I'm just shocked to see a cassette player. These days we used iPod or mp3 instead that traditional thing."

And he laughed for a while.

But I knew him long enough, and there was no hint of humor whatsoever in his laugh. Instead, they seemed bitter.

He was never a good actor.

"Well, know what? I'll leave you for a sec, I have work to do," he said, grinning. "See you around dude."

And he waved at me once and went upstairs to the second floor of the library.

Something was wrong. That for sure. He never left my side whenever he saw me. He'd stick with me and only get off when it was time for us to get home.

I took out the cassette player and took the third tape from the shoebox. I shifted so I was in a more comfortable position and pressed play.

_**Play**_

_Peek-a-boo._

_Who's there?_

_Sssh! Be quiet. Be very very quiet. _

_Sometimes, when you're in the library, there would be people to tell you to be quiet whenever you talk too loud._

_But when you're all alone, there is just no one to remind you to not make loud sounds. _

_Oh, sssh! Don't make a sound._

_Or you'll get caught. Ssh!_

Why… was she whispering?

_I know you've been looking at me for some time now, you know._

_Do you really think I wouldn't notice it when someone is looking at me through my own small window?_

_You just happen to be so fortunate that my parents' gardening idea is to put a lot of bamboo in front of my small high window. To your advantage: people who passed by wouldn't be able to tell that you've been standing outside of my window every night watching every single move that I made in that room. _

Wait, what?

A peeping tom?

_Now, I'm sure Kankurou wouldn't share the pictures he took of me. And I bet he'll keep the picture of me giving a certain someone a backrub to his own. So don't bother, really._

My breath was caught. The names mentioned in these tapes… were always so unpredictable and shocking.

Kankurou? The senior who was called the awesome Puppet Master?

What…?

_Now, you have no idea though, that I knew of course._

_You thought I'd never find out,_

_But guess what, Kankurou-senpai. _

_I found out. _

_Are you _that_ dumb to actually think that those clicking sounds will not be heard? I don't even know how you got the strength to actually stand outside of my bedroom window for hours taking pictures of my activities._

_Did it arouse you when you saw me change? Did it arouse you when you took pictures of me wrapped only in towel after shower? _

_Yes? No? Maybe?_

_Or,_

_Let's try another approach, shall we?_

_Did it give you the gut feeling that it's wrong to do what you did when you see me curled up in a ball crying for the things that had happened? Or was it all just an amusement to you?_

_Just part of your pictures collection?_

_Now, so far, those people whose names are mentioned should be relieved by now._

I bet they were.

_Because they are just jerks, bitches, and insecure in some ways. But yours,_

I heard her click her tongue and her tone was cold and flat when she spoke:

_I feel sorry for you, senpai. I really do._

_Because your story…_

_Well, it's just plain creepy._

I shivered at the tone she used. It was cold. Really cold; emotionless.

But he deserved it.

Suddenly, bashing Gaara's head open was no longer a priority. I'd like to bash _his _head open and hang it at a place where everyone could see.

_Labeled C._

I opened the map and scoffed when I found out that it was Kankurou's house.

I took my bag and walked out of the library toward the place labeled C.

_Now, even I feel creepy just by telling it._

_Because right now, Kankurou-senpai, I am trying to do what you did._

_I am trying to understand the excitement of watching at someone through their own bedroom window, knowing that they don't know they're being watched._

_Oh, ssh! Here he comes. The spotlight's all on you, senpai._

_Welcome home._

Sakura, did she… tried peeking at Kankurou's window?

Was she doing what he did to her?

_Peek-a-boo, senpai._

_You lost._

_I found out._

_**Stop**_

I stared at Kankurou's house across the street and noticed that there his window was taped.

I frowned and looked at the ground, I found a rock and suddenly I had the urge to smash that window of his.

"Just take it,"

I almost jumped.

I turned to find Sai smiling at me.

I had never notice before, but his smile was faked once again.

"We've all thrown rocks at his window," he said. "He deserves it."

_We_?

Suddenly I just didn't want to stoop as low as them. I shook my head and stepped away from the rock.

His fake smile grew wider.

"Don't tell me you feel uneasy, Sasuke," he said. I narrowed my eyes, looking at the huge rock he had in his right hand.

He eyed my headphone and the big bulge in my bag, and he grinned solemnly.

"How far are you?" he asked.

I stared at him, not wanting to answer.

His fault…

All of it.

They were all the repercussions of that list he made.

"Here," he raised his right hand, handing me the rock. I stared at the rock, and shook my head once. Then I walked past him.

"Just because what he did seems worse than what you did, it doesn't give you the right to throw rocks at his window," I muttered, suddenly irritated at the way he acted.

I wondered who else had thrown rocks at Kankurou's window.

I heard him sighed. And then a chuckle.

I turned and found him smiling at me.

I hated that fake smile.

"What I did probably make the other things occur," he said. Then he opened his eyes and I was shocked to see how much darkness and emptiness he got in those eyes. At the same time, though, I could see his regret and sorrow. "But,"

And suddenly they changed; the look he had in his eyes. It felt as if they were judging me.

The guilt came back.

What was it that I did to her? What was it that I did to her unconsciously that hurt her?

"You are the one who failed, Sasuke,"

And with that he turned and walked away, leaving me standing there dumbfounded and shocked.

**. . .**

Fast update again.

I'm impossibly stressed from school work now. I'm actually annoyed that I can so easily write this story instead of the 4,000 words essay I'm supposed to be doing.

Reviews are appreciated.

OPD.


	9. Tape 3 Side B

**Tape Three**

Side B

. . .

_**Play**_

_I think most of you will remember the car crash between a senior and an old man. I think you must've remembered since that event was in the news for a couple of days._

_Do you remember the cause of the crash?_

I sat on the pavement about a block away from Kankurou's house. I closed my eyes and massaged the temple of my forehead slowly.

Stupid headache.

_**Pause**_

I looked around after a while and noticed that this was the place where the crash took place. I remembered it well because I was there at the scene after the crash. The medic wanted me to tell the wife of the old man that he would be okay.

That was a lie.

One look at the old man lying unmoving as he was carried by the medic into the ambulance and I knew right away that he was dying.

I was right.

A few days later, it was on the news.

He had died.

_**Play**_

_I hope you do remember._

_You, in particular should remember it well._

_The cause of the crash is because_

I remember. I finally did. I blinked and looked around and then I found the empty roadside at the intersection where a STOP sign was supposed to be. I remember underneath the STOP sign was another sign: LOOK LEFT AND RIGHT BEFORE CROSSING. Because the traffic light that was supposed to be there was under repair.

The old man's car had come from the left. The senior forgot to stop based on two reasons.

One, the STOP sign was not there.

Two, he was a bit drunk and he was driving fast. Real fast.

So when the old man's car came around, the crash was inevitable.

_you, darling, crashed into the STOP sign and threw it away._

I froze. The headache had gotten worse.

I remembered another thing. Sakura's name was mentioned in the newspaper not long after the old man had died. It was when they investigated the cause of the missing STOP sign.

She was the reason why the STOP sign was gone.

A witness came to the police officer and told them that she had seen Sakura crashed into the sign and threw it away.

Sakura was thrown into the jail for a few days based on that reason: indirect murder.

It was ridiculous.

But the accident happened mostly because that STOP sign wasn't there. So whoever took out that sign would be labeled guilty on spot.

After she was back to school, everyone's harassment might as well be labeled Level One. Everyone accused her of being a murderer.

Whenever I passed by her, she would occasionally had a new addition of bruises to her face or body parts. My guess was that some people had decided hitting her would be considered just. Her eyes, though, were empty. There were no sign of pain whatsoever.

And it scared me. Somehow it did. Those green orbs had always been lively and cheerful. But suddenly they just died out.

_Is it because you want me to pay you back for helping me figure out that it is Kankurou-senpai who had been looking at me all this time?_

_Yes, people, she is the person who I gave a backrub to as part of our little act in busting Kankurou-senpai. As I have already said, though, I doubt he will let you see the pictures he took of our act._

_You're the one who did it, Tenten._

_Is it the blame game that you played?_

_The "Oh let's blame Haruno Sakura. She's already fucked so there is just no way that I could ruin her life"?_

_Well, guess what?_

_What you did does ruin my life._

Tenten…

And here I thought she's the girl who hated the idea of backstabbing. Obviously I was proven wrong.

_The beatings are no match to the fact that people have now considers me number one fail trash. My family started to fall apart. Slowly._

_My parents don't even want to look at me anymore. They've stopped caring._

_Even better, they've helped add to my bruises._

They beat her?

_So, you know._

_This event is the first trigger that made me consider the idea of suicide._

_Blaming other people for what you did is always easier, isn't it?_

_I regret that I gave you a ride to Ichiraku's that night. I regret that I let you drive even though you were about eighty percent drunk. I regret that I hadn't tried harder to stop you when you threw away the sign._

_I'm sorry old man. I am partly to blame._

_But Tenten, I will defend myself here._

_I am not the one to blame completely. It should've been you._

_**Stop**_

I looked at my watch. 3.30 PM.

I stood up and started to walk toward the school.

Somehow, I just wanted to be there.

And suddenly, I missed her.

The girl who had crushed on me when we were kids. The girl who I'd ignored. The girl I loved.

Sakura, I miss you.

**. . .**

LOL. I'm working on my English homework now.

Fast update again. Cope with me, kay?

Nik0laiCarpathia, Rohain Tahquil, BriBri, AnimaniacXOX, Justmyopinion.

Thank you for the support and feedbacks.

To EmoSakura95, the book is called Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher. You have to read it, that book is just amazing.

Reviews are appreciated.

OPD.


	10. Tape 4 Side A

**Tape Four**

Side A

. . .

I walked up to the bleachers and sat on the top of the stairs. I stared ahead at the empty soccer field and sighed. I grabbed the shoe box and took out the fourth tape. I slid the tape into the cassette player and snapped close the lid.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against the back wall.

_**Play**_

_You took my notes of encouragement._

_You should know who you are._

_Well, for the rest of you who must be confused, I will help you know what it is that I will be talking about._

_Remember we have this Student Support Service sessions where _everyone _have to attend? Yeah, it is retarded. But for me, it's not._

_It's the only thing that kept me happy and content knowing that I'm not the only one with all the problems._

_Now, do you remember that every time before the session starts we need to write a note or two for a person in the classroom, and then we have to put those notes in the person's bucket that is hanged at that tree looking thingy?_

Yeah, I remember. Every time my bucket will be filled with "don't worry, your chicken butt hairstyle suits you" or "I LOVE YOU SASUKE!"s. I never knew that something I had always considered pathetic and a waste of time could mean so much for her.

_Well, everyone always receive notes of encouragement._

_Mine,…_

_I never get to read mine._

_Because you took them._

_I am sorry to say but…_

_I hate you Lee._

_I hate you for what you did._

The guy with thick eyebrows and the ugly bowl haircut? The one who was always so enthusiastic whenever it was time for P.E.?

But then, what was the surprise in this?

He was always so obsessed with Sakura. It annoyed me so bad that I'd punch him in the face.

An Uchiha, though, never lost his temper.

Mistake number eight.

_My bucket… well, no one's bucket is ever empty._

_I anticipated that mine would be at least half full when I'd practically chopped off most of my hair._

She did. She cut off that pretty long pink hair of hers. It was slightly above the shoulder. And it was a shock.

I knew, and Naruto did too, that she'd always loved that hair of hers.

The three of us, well, we had been together since kindergarten. But when we entered High School we started going our own ways. Me and Naruto still hang out, but Sakura was too busy with her Student Council meetings and other numerous after school activities she took. Not to mention the extra lessons.

We knew she was aiming for a scholarship. Because that was what her parents had wanted her to get. She was smart, no doubt about that.

She was different, was what I had noticed from her after our first year's summer break. She had morphed from the Sakura that I and Naruto knew to a whole new Sakura. She had matured. She was no longer the little girl that we need to protect 24/7.

Now I knew, though, that we had been wrong.

She needed our protection still.

Especially during the times when her green eyes had dimmed and when the bright sincere smile was completely wiped out of her face.

_I mean, even Ami-chan who had only cut off a bit of her bangs receive a bunch of notes in her bucket._

_Well, that was when I started staying a bit late after school, hiding behind the long curtains. Do you know that behind those curtains there's this tiny space where you can fit into? Yeah, that was where I hid._

_And I saw you, Lee. _

_I've always left my bucket without taking the notes out because I got some activities to attend to. I never knew that someone would take my notes. Because I knew that a few people have also left theirs, not even caring about what's written about them. And the next day, those notes are still there._

_Mine._

_It's always gone every time I return from my activities._

_Well, not gone. Empty._

_Remember we are not even allowed to look at our buckets until we've finished packing up our stuff from our lockers? Well, that is just stupid, but whatever._

_So yeah, I thought at first, that everyone hates me so much that they don't even bother putting some encouraging notes._

_But I knew they did. _

_Because when you stole my notes, and I happen to witness that, a note fell out from your pocket._

_It was from someone whose name will be mentioned later._

_His note was a short poem._

_I have it here with me still, because it is the only warm object that I have._

_Cherry blossom, cherry blossom,_

_Oh where have your radiance gone to?_

_It better come back one day,_

_Or I'll force winter dark to return it to you._

_P.S. I miss your warm smile and your bright eyes._

I froze.

That was…

What I wrote to her.

I kept it anonymous. How the Hell did she find out it was me?

_Lee, what you did is just ridiculous. _

_It is _fucking_ stupid. I've always respected you. But since that day, my respect for you… well, they're just gone._

_And you can't blame me._

_Because you are one of the thirteen reasons why I killed myself._

_Which means I should be blaming you._

_And that is exactly what I'm doing to you right now._

_I can still remember it when Kurenai-sensei handed out those brochures about suicide and the signs of people who might have that in mind._

_I remember what was written on the top of the list._

_Sudden drastic change of appearance._

_And yes, I did smile and touch my short hair._

_What a surprise._

_**Stop**_

Screw the ways of the Uchiha clan. I will beat Lee to pulp when I came across him.

I stared at the field and sighed.

"Naruto, we could've helped her," I muttered, closing my eyes while pinching my nose's bridge. My left hand fidgeted with the headphone's cable.

"Yes,"

I jumped, shocked. I opened my eyes and found Naruto standing a few steps below. He was staring at me.

"Yes, we could've helped her,"

Regret was clearly there in those blue eyes of his.

**. . .**

Sorry this update took a while.

I was busy with school. Well, still is.

I'll be even busier now that the deadlines are all coming down on me at the same time.

I don't know when I would be able to update next.

But please be patient if it somehow takes a month or more.

Reviews are appreciated,

OPD.


	11. Bond

I stared at Naruto in shock. Had he just answered my question? Didn't this mean that he knew something about these tapes?

He walked up the stairs and sat next to me. I caught him eyeing my bag and my cassette player before he sat.

"You do know something about her death, don't you Naruto?" I muttered after a long annoying awkward silence.

I hated how her tapes made me almost forget the ways of the Uchiha. If dad knew, he'd be furious. The Uchiha clan was one of the most sophisticated and respected clan in the whole country. Knowing how I could so easily break down and lose my temper he'd probably beat me to pulp.

"Yes," Naruto muttered.

Somehow, it didn't really shock me. I knew he knew something ever since I saw him in the library. My next question would be _are you part of her reasons?_

But he answered that before I got to raise the question.

"I'm not part of her reasons, though," he said, sighing. I turned to him and his clear blue eyes were teary. We knew, both of us knew, that we could've helped her. We could be there for her the way we did when we were kids.

"How do you know then?" I asked. I closed my eyes slightly as I felt the cool breeze blew. The leaves in the trees rustled.

"It was my recording that she borrowed. And I was the one who she gave the second set of tapes to," he answered.

And that…

Well, I didn't expect that. Suddenly I was furious.

"You let her die," I growled through gritted teeth. I snapped my head around at him and he was staring at me as well. His eyes looked as furious as mine.

"I did _not_," he said, his tone flat and dangerous. He stood up suddenly, and I saw his fists clenched.

I stood up as well, and took a few steps back; somehow knowing that soon we'd get into fists fight.

"You gave her the recorder! You knew she'd kill herself!" I almost yelled at him and his eyes shot open, shocked at my accusation.

"I did _not_!" he screamed at me. "I never knew she'd kill herself! I never knew until she gave me those tapes packed neatly in a brown shoe box. She left that goddamn package in front of my house the day she killed herself!"

"You _knew_ something was wrong then!"

"_YOU_ could've helped her too! But you and your Uchiha pride always got in the way of what your heart tells you!"

"Don't you _dare_ bring in the way of my clan!" I screamed, completely furious now. All I wanted to do was just to beat his face to pulp. "She never let _me _in! How could I have helped her?"

"She gave you a fucking _chance_!" Naruto screamed. He ran forward and his right fist was aimed toward my left cheek. I dodged his punch and gave a blow to his stomach.

"_You _were the one she trusted! She fucking gave you the other set of tapes!" I yelled. Naruto huffed as he brought himself up. He kicked my legs so I fell down on my butt. I groaned.

"But _you_ were the one who first noticed when something was wrong with her! Remember you told me how odd it was that she cut off her hair? Well, I would've never notice that it was odd unless you pointed it out to me!" He yelled at me, I could see his tears rolling down his cheeks. I kicked his face and he screamed as he fell backward.

"Then you are just not a good enough friend!" I yelled. He snarled as he jumped at me. He sat on top of me and hit my face again and again. I grunted as I kicked his abdomen, pushing him off me.

We panted and huffed as we stared at each other, anger was still present in both our eyes. His cheeks were bruised and his left eye was slightly swollen. His right hand was clutching his abdomen.

His tears ran down his cheeks uncontrollably. Then, he laughed suddenly.

"What?" I yelled, offended.

"Your face!" he laughed. And then, I laughed along with him as I took in _his_ face. It was actually rather hilarious.

We laughed until our knees gave out and we ended up sitting at our original position, only a few feet away.

After a while, the sound of our laughter faded away and I could hear Naruto sobbing.

I turned to him and saw his broken figure. My own tears ran down my cheeks.

"We could've stopped her," I heard him mutter between hard sobs.

I shut my eyes as tightly as possible, wishing that her death had never happened and that somehow she could climb those stairs and sat down with us like the good old times.

Naruto screamed the very thing I screamed in my head:

"If only you knew that there are still people who love you!"

_We're just not clear enough in letting her know. _

The bond will never be broken.

No matter what.

. . .

Yay! Update. 8D

I'm going to do my math homework now.

Reviews are appreciated.


	12. Tape 4 Side B

**Tape Four**

Side B

. . .

"You have to finish listening to the tapes, Teme," Naruto said. It had been a few minutes after we stopped crying. Felt fucking weak that I actually broke down in front of my own best friend as he himself broke down. "I'll see you around."

I nodded as I saw him stood up and walked down the stairs.

"Oh, and," he stopped midways and turned to me, "don't give yourself a hard time when it comes to your turn."

He continued walking and then he was gone.

I frowned, completely confused.

First Sai, and now him. What exactly had I done to Sakura?

I shook my head and flipped the tape around.

_**Play**_

_You asked me to be your date. And I agreed to it. How very wrong that is._

_Ha! Dude, if it takes you some time thinking is it you, then I will answer your question and help you remember._

_Yes, Suigetsu. Now's your turn._

Suigetsu?

But it all made sense. He did ask her to be his date in Valentine's Day. It was a bet he and his friends made. He knew I had a feeling toward Sakura and I remembered he winked at me in the most disrespectful manner possible that I wanted to kick his ass when she agreed to go with him.

I never knew what happened during their date.

All I knew was that there was a rumor about the two of them having sex. But a few days later Suigetsu denied it and accused Sakura of telling people that they did.

People looked down on her even more.

And it crushed me to see her looking as if she had been crying all night long.

_Let's recall what happened that day, shall we? I hate Valentine's. Always have._

_Well, people, this is it._

_Okay so,_

_Suigetsu asked me to meet up with him at two at Stacy's, the ice cream parlor._

_Labeled D._

I unfolded the map and nodded to myself. Guess dinner would be at Stacy's.

_So, I went there and arrived a few minutes earlier._

_I ordered for a strawberry milkshake while I wait for him._

_At two, he didn't show up. But whatever, people are always late._

_Fifteen minutes passed by. Traffic, maybe._

_Thirty. Horrible traffic that must be why he's late._

_An hour…_

_An hour and a half…_

_He arrived at four ten._

_Yes, two hour and ten minutes late from our agreed time. _

_I asked him, of course, why he's late._

_And guess what he did?_

_He laughed at me._

_Then I noticed that he had brought a few friends along with him._

_And they were all laughing at me._

_Then I wondered, and I did say this to you didn't I honey?_

"_Did you take me out on a date because I made the 'Hot' side of the list?"_

Bastard.

_And he said, "of course not, now I'm sorry I'm late. I thought you'd be too."_

_Is he fucking insane? Who on Earth would be late on a Valentine's Date, and need I mention again _two _fucking hour late, unless he's planning to make a joke out of it? _

_It was then I realized that he did make a joke out of it._

_When I glared at his friends, they all shut up. Oh yeah, they're afraid of me. I guess my new appearance and my blank expression would scare pretty much _everyone_ off._

_So when I looked back at Suigetsu, he grinned sickeningly. A lust filled grin._

_And you had me backed up against the wall, trapped between you _and_ the vending machine. Your friends did nothing; of course, although I was sure they looked as if they want you to stop._

_And then, you grabbed my ass._

My heart stopped. I clenched my fists. Looking around for something that I could hit, or at least throw.

Suigetsu… that asshole.

_Now, of course you were lying when you said you didn't take me out on a date because I made the 'Hot' list. _

_If you're not lying, then why were you grabbing my ass?_

_So yes, I pushed him and smacked him on the face. I was trained by Tsunade, know her? The famous boxer? Well she happened to be my mom's best friend. _

_It please me to see your left cheek swollen the next day at school and everyone was laughing at you, including your friends._

_I bet that was when you thought of a way to get your revenge._

_And that is to kill me slowly._

_Kill my self esteem and dignity slowly._

_You succeeded of course. Everyone believes in the stupid ugly rumor._

I opened the door to Stacy's and took a seat at the counter. I ordered tomato juice.

I glanced outside the window and noticed how the sky was now a different shade of red, mixed with the seemingly fading clouds.

_My only regret is that I actually agreed to go with you._

_Wait, no._

_My regret is that I couldn't literally beat you to pulp that you would actually be unable to walk._

_**Stop**_

I heard the door swung open as the bell jingled.

Then I heard him.

Suigetsu.

He was laughing, seeming to have the time of his life. He had no idea that I had just heard the horrible thing he did to the girl that killed herself a few weeks ago.

I turned to him and he saw me.

"Hey Sasuke," he waved as he walked toward me.

He froze midway when he saw my cassette player and the shoe box that was showing from my unzipped backpack.

The happy grin was suddenly gone from his face and he paled.

"What tape?" he muttered. His friends behind him looked from him to me confusedly.

"Hey, dude, are you okay?" they asked him but he didn't answer. He was staring straight at me, his eyes shifting from the cassette player and my expression fast.

"I said, _what tape_?" he said, his voice louder.

"Yours," was all that I answered. I stared at him judgingly.

Oh Hell yeah, I could be a real ass. I was an ass most of the times anyway, so I'd pretty much stopped giving a damn. Especially because of what he did to her.

But I felt like what I said wasn't enough. So I said more:

"How did her ass felt like, Suigetsu?" I smirked darkly.

He noticed the menacing dangerous tone and his face turned a few shades whiter.

"Oi, Suigetsu, dude snap out of it!" his friends shook his shoulder.

He turned to them.

"We're not eating here," he said and he walked toward the door. They stared at him in shock, and then at me. They complained as they followed him out the door.

Before he closed the door he looked at me.

"I am sorry, you know," he muttered.

That was when I snapped.

I stood up and walked toward him.

"Oh yeah? Well, _your_ apology couldn't bring back a dead girl can it?"

It must've shocked him how an Uchiha lost his temper. But I just did. And when I turned to walk back toward my seat I heard the door close.

. . .

2 updates on the same day? I know it's too fast. But I just wrote this not long after I finished the previous one. I'm in the MOOD BABY! AHAHAHHA! Well, you know math is bad for the mental.

LOL! I know, Tsunade's a boxer? Well, I couldn't think of anything else really.

And ehm… what else? Oh yeah, in the chapter 'Bond' I was going to say that their fight kinda resemble the fight at the waterfall. Without chakra and Naruto's Kyuubi and Sasuke's transformation and shit.

And they fought for a different reason.

I hope everything make sense so far.

This story still has a long way to go.

Remember that there are 7 tapes? Side A and B? We're still in Tape 4 Side B now.

Well, anyways,

Reviews are appreciated.

P.S. I'm actually glad people find the story sad. I felt the same way when I read the one written by Jay Asher. It always gives me this uneasy feeling.

For Princess of blah blah blah: Well, the reasons in this story are almost similar to the reasons in Jay Asher's. But well, you know, the original is always better? :)

I am seriously recommending people to read the book. Like. Buy it. Or borrow. xD


	13. Tape 5 Side A

**Tape Five**

Side A

. . .

My phone buzzed, and someone's face popped up in my head.

_Mom._

I flipped the top open and groaned silently when the name on the screen proved me right.

I took a deep breath and put the phone next to my ear.

"Hey mom," I said.

"Sasuke, where _are _you?" she shrieked, obviously worried.

I could hear Itachi's voice in the background.

"My foolish little brother, you could at times be _literally _foolish," he said, and I could hear how annoyed he was. "Dad almost sent out his whole troops to look for you."

Oh God.

My family could be very dramatic at times. Even though dad is the chief police of the city's cops he didn't really need to send out his _whole _troops.

Although it was obvious that Itachi was just exaggerating.

"I knew something's wrong," mom continued. "The school called, saying you never show up at school, what were you doing in the garage."

I heard Itachi again.

"Masturbating, obviously,"

Then I heard dad.

"Itachi," his tone low and threatening.

"Dad, come on, it's possible,"

"No, Itachi, the garage is an open place and people could see him. If he _was_ masturbating, he'd at least be in the bushes."

I _hate_ my family.

"Shut up you two!" mom shrieked. "Sasuke get back home _right now_! You are worrying me!"

"Mom, I forgot to tell you, sorry," I said, completely ignoring her previous rant. "I had a group project with Naruto so I'm staying over at his place."

"I told you he's gay,"

Itachi would never be able to see the sunlight again. Ever.

But I guessed mom knew I was lying. Heck, I was never a good liar.

"Sasuke," she said, her tone normal and steady. "Are you okay?"

_No._

"Yes," I said, lying through my teeth. I stared at the shoe box. "I'm okay, I'm at Stacy's eating dinner, then I'll head off to Naruto's."

"Should I come over?" she asked.

_Yes._

"No it's okay," I lied again. "I'm almost done."

I heard her sigh.

"Is there anything you would want to tell me?"

_There is._

_You know Haruno Sakura right mom? The pink haired girl who came over to our house a lot of times when I was a kid? Well, you know that she's dead yeah? _

_Guess what mom? She sent me a shoe box filled with tapes and in each of the tapes are people who are, apparently, the reasons why she killed herself._

_I am in one of those tapes._

"No, I'm fine mom,"

"Well, okay then," she was able to hide her worry well. Except that I could still hear it. "You can call me whenever, okay? Don't get yourself in trouble and you better not wander off with Naruto someplace else."

"I won't," I smiled to myself. Mom had always thought of Naruto as a bad influence, but she couldn't dislike her because he made her laugh countless of times when she was extremely pissed.

"Bye," she said. "I love you."

"Me too mom," I smiled again.

I snapped my phone close and sighed.

I glanced at the shoe box.

With a groan I took out the fifth tape from it and dumped in the fourth. I snapped my cassette player close with the tape in it.

_**Play**_

_You are a nice person. I'm not kidding. You do not fake yourself and you truly care for others._

_I'm really sorry that I need to put you in my list._

_But you stole something from me. Something precious. _

_Something that… well, something that is a part of me._

_Neji, I am really sorry._

This would be the first time that she apologized for putting a person in her list.

_Me and Neji, we exchanged poems that we made often._

_He knew me… almost too well through my poems._

_And I knew him almost the same way._

_Again, I am sorry._

_But you stole my poem._

_If you only steal it because you want to read it and I didn't give you the permission, then it's still acceptable._

_But,_

_You are the school's editor for the school's bulletin._

My breath was caught.

That heartbreaking poem… was hers?

The one published by Neji? Well, he didn't put her name there, it was kept anonymous.

But, it was hers?

_Yes people, you know it right away._

_He published that poem of mine._

_Should I read it out loud? I have a copy of the school's bulletin. My real poem is… well I don't know where you keep it Neji. But I hope you burn it. Because that poem is another part of me that should also be gone when I'm gone._

She took a deep breath and I readied myself for another gush of tears.

Because her poem… well, it was just heartbreakingly sad.

_Stare, by Haruno Sakura._

_An eagle would fly up and high in the sky,_

_And I would stare._

_A dolphin would swim and dive deep down in the water,_

_And I would stare._

_A ballerina would dance around and around in circles without getting dizzy,_

_And I would stare._

_A painter would express her emotion through her paintings,_

_And I would stare._

_A person would get hit, raped, killed, murdered,_

_And I would stare._

_A person would be trapped, locked, chained,_

_And I would just stare._

_A person with a free spirit would be caged for wanting to be free,_

_And I would just stare._

_A person would be looked down by others,_

_And I would just stare._

_A person would smile a broken smile, _

_And cry endless tears,_

_And no one would care._

_And I?_

_I would just stare._

_As the bird fly up and high,_

_As the dolphin swim and dive deep down,_

_As the ballerina dance around and around in circles,_

_As the painter paint her emotion,_

_As the person is hit, raped, killed, murdered,_

_As the person is trapped, locked, chained,_

_As the person with a free spirit is caged for only wanting what he deserves,_

_As a person is looked down by others,_

_And as a person smile a broken smile and cry endless tears,_

_No one else would care._

_And I would just stare._

_Because there is simply nothing I can do_

_To change the world that is painful,_

_To change the way the world works._

_So there is nothing else I can do,_

_Other than staring at those who are hurting,_

_And staring at those who hurt them._

_Because the world is too big and too cruel,_

_And I am just a human who can only _

_Stare._

_**Stop**_

I covered my face with both my hands as I tried holding back the sobs that had been coming.

I stood up, walked outside hurriedly after paying the cashier with a worried look on her face, and ran as fast as I could.

To where?

I didn't care.

I just wanted to leave.

_Run…_

_Don't stop._

. . .

Okay dang…

So like… I think I'm not supposed to be feeling sad because it's my own story?

BUT I AM!

Crap.

If any of my friends encounter this I'd be crying waterfall…

Ah…

Well, I mighty hope none of you cried.

Because, well, to be honest, it's not that sad…

Reviews are appreciated.


	14. Tape 5 Side B

**Tape 5**

Side B

. . .

I panted tiredly when I had finally stopped running. I looked around and was shocked that I actually ran back to the block that was near Sakura's house.

Her house was empty, of course. Her parents moved away a few days after her death. Sadly, and she probably was unaware of this, there was no funeral done for her.

Suicide was never considered highly. Burying a person who did suicide ceremonially was… well, they just never did. Not really.

I sat on the pavement and stared up at the sky. The nearest post lamp was about three feet away so I wasn't really lit. The stars had started appearing slowly. I closed my eyes and let the cool breeze blew pass me.

I looked down at the tape and flipped it.

_**Play**_

Why wasn't she saying anything?

_Well…_

A sigh.

_I… love you. I still do._

My heart froze. Then it started beating faster.

I knew then,

That my turn had finally came.

_When we were kids, you, I and Naruto were inseparable._

_But when we entered middle school, I just got even busier and we barely talk to each other._

_But I know, until the end, that the two of you _will_ be by my side no matter what._

_Now, there is one incident where the two of us, Sasuke-kun, connect._

_Really connect._

_And well, at the same time, that incident happened in a party where the other incidents that will be mentioned happened. _

_It was Hinata's party. _

_Now, Sasuke-kun, this tape… it should only be you who listen to it. But we both know it's impossible because the others would be curious as well._

_I am actually afraid that you'd deny me, or walk away from me when I came up to you that night at the party._

_But, well, to my surprise, you didn't._

_You stood there._

_Your eyes, _

A chuckle. And I couldn't help but smile at the sound of it.

_They're as emotionless and creepy as ever._

_But for me, they're welcoming. Yes, I'm freaking crazy. But then, I am crazy since the idea of suicide have been in my mind for a while. I just haven't figure out which way would be the most… painless._

_I was even more surprised when I found out we could still talk like the good old times._

I was too.

And the talk came out almost too naturally. It felt as if we'd never been separated. As if we had been hanging out every day. I was relieved, though, because it meant that our friendship was as tight as ever. Even though we were separated for a few years.

_I was relieved, though, because it meant that our friendship was as tight as ever._

You read me, Sakura.

_But you know, don't you, that I am feeling something _more_ than just friendship._

Yes.

Because I felt the same way.

_So after we talked for a while, we moved to an empty couch at the corner of the living room because a couple was eating each other's faces behind us. I could hear their moans and groans clearly…_

I chuckled. I remember that, Sakura looked so impossibly pissed.

_I was glad that no one was around that couch. It meant more privacy for you and me._

_So we sat, and…_

_Well for the rest of you who still thought I'm a huge whore who'd just open my clothes and have sex like every other girl in that party, you would be wrong._

_Because me and Sasuke-kun,_

_We just talked._

_That's it._

_We talked._

Yeah, we did.

A talk that… somehow bonded us.

She refused to talk about her problems, but she gave me hints about them and I was glad that I was able to interpret her hints. She seemed to be glad as well.

That night, when I sat with her in that party, I had the urge to just hug her and tell her that everything…

Well, that everything would be okay.

But I didn't.

Because I was afraid.

_The only thing that we did other than talking…_

_Was kiss._

I smiled involuntarily.

I made the first move, and I was glad I did.

She was smiling as she hinted to me her problems. I knew, though, that she was just trying her best not to cry.

And I couldn't control my body.

It just moved on its own.

I leaned in toward her, touched her chin and lifted it up so she was looking straight at me.

And for the first time after a long time, I saw it.

A spark of happiness.

And she smiled before I leaned in to kiss her.

It was a rather passionate one. Well, no. It _was_ a passionate one.

After a while of kissing each other's lips I decided to be bold. I bit her bottom lip and she moaned as she opened her mouth. Without hesitation and I knew it was a good thing I didn't hesitate, I let my tongue enter her mouth.

She climbed onto my laps and we kissed.

We didn't have crazy public wild sex like the other couples that I saw in that party even though I was impossibly aroused, and I knew she was too.

But the kiss would be ruined.

I knew that the kiss was in a way; our bond.

_Well, that kiss was in a way, our bond isn't it Sasuke-kun?_

I could almost see her smiling as she taped this, and I couldn't help but smile and nod.

Yes, Sakura, it was.

_So after we finished kissing, we talked some more._

_Well, a few hours after you received a phone call from your mother asking you to come home. And you did._

_This… this is where I realized something, Sasuke-kun._

_And I am sorry that you have to hear what I've got to say._

_You care about me, probably even as much as I care about you. And I know that you, and Naruto, are both aware of my changing condition and appearance. I know that both of you are worried._

_But…_

_Well, Sasuke-kun,_

_It was _you_ who I expected to make a move and save me._

_But you didn't._

_Because when I waved goodbye at you I could see your hesitation as you looked at me._

_I knew that you wanted to save me._

_Then…_

_Why didn't you?_

Because I was too afraid.

Because I was a coward.

_In the end, though, Sasuke-kun_

_I love you._

_And, thank you if you have ever loved me._

_**Stop**_

I stared at the concrete road in front of me. My vision had been completely blurred. I didn't even bother wiping away the tears.

The guilt…

They were too much.

Sakura, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

. . .

Yes, _most_ or even _all_ of you have been waiting for this chapter. And LOL! Some of you thought that Sasuke would be last, but nope.

Remember in chapter one he sent the package away to someone else? :)

So yes. Here goes.

Tell me if it's… well any good.

Reviews are appreciated.


	15. Tape 6 Side A

**Tape Six**

Side A

. . .

I stood up as I walked toward the place where Hinata's party was held; her second house which was near the beach. I looked at the big minimalist house and sighed. I took out tape six and placed it in the cassette player. Then, I continued walking. I looked at my watch and groaned silently: 21:15.

I wonder if I should come home later instead of sleeping over at Naruto's. I shook my head and decided that coming home would be best. Mom would yell endlessly but, well whatever.

I walked back toward Stacy's. That ice cream parlor/diner opened for 24 hour, and for once I was actually glad it did.

_**Play**_

_Someone's name would be mentioned again here. You… well it's actually unbelievable how your name would come up twice in my list._

_It's not completely your fault, it is mine as well._

_We could've stopped it Gaara._

You have _got_ to be kidding me.

_We have both failed her._

_After Sasuke-kun went home, I wanted to as well, but I had to wait for Tenten because I was riding with her to the party._

_So I looked for a place where I bet no one would be around._

_And I chose the bedroom in the second floor of Hinata's place._

_A few bedrooms were filled with couples. I was glad to find one that's empty._

_I had a few thinking in that room._

_How a person is able to help others but is unable to, or even worse; unwilling to._

_How a person who wants to be saved is not saved._

_That was when she entered._

_She was alone, and she fell on the carpet, throwing up. She had an awful lot of drinks, I knew it right away._

_And then, I heard him coming. And I ran to the closet, somehow scared._

_I took a peek from the closet and I heard and saw everything._

_He was coming. That person._

_And you, Gaara, you could've stopped him._

_Well, you did._

_When he was about to open the door, I saw you blocking his way, saying:_

"_She's almost unconscious, leave her alone,"_

_And I could hear him snicker as he replied,_

"_Gaara, I wouldn't do anything to her. Let me in, I'll be nice to her."_

_You knew, though, that he won't. You knew what he'd do, but you…_

_Well, you moved out of his way and let him in._

_You have failed to save her._

_Now when he approached her, and when he grabbed her ass, and when he started kissing and sucking on her skin as she moaned almost unconsciously, I could've stopped him._

_But I was afraid._

_Instead, I moved farther into the closet and close my ears; unwilling to listen to the sick sounds made outside as he…_

_Well, as he raped her._

I shook my head and sighed. I entered Stacy's and sat in the corner.

Poor girl.

_When he was done, he left her on the floor._

_She was crying, even though she was half awake when he did it._

_When I crawled out of the closet and over to her, I was dazed and broken as I saw her expression._

_It was…_

_I couldn't see any hints that showed she was actually alive._

_Yes, she looked dead. She looked… even worse than me._

_That was when I lost it._

_I lost my will to live._

_I had failed to save her, and you did too Gaara._

_I always wanted people to save me, but… how could I possibly get that if I am unable to save another?_

_I'm sorry._

_**Stop**_

I sipped my tomato juice and stared at my fish and chips.

I squeezed my eyes shut, really hoping… wanting that all that I heard would go away.

But it was impossible.

Her words, her every word were carved into my mind.

I looked at the tape before I flipped it.

Two more…

. . .

Well, I saw a few reviews as people told me they're confused on _why_ is Sasuke in her list.

I can't tell you why, it's your interpretation.

Like I've already said before, in the end it's _your _point of view that matters as you read this. :)

Reviews are appreciated.


	16. Tape 6 Side B

**Tape Six**

Side B

. . .

_**Play**_

_You are the reason why I finalize my decision to kill myself._

_You are the person who showed me that I am not worth it._

_You are the person who treated me like a piece of trash._

_And you _will_ be the person who wouldn't want to pass on the tapes._

_But you have to._

_Because guess what, Sasori-senpai?_

_I have someone I trust who would broadcast the tapes if they are not passed on until the end._

_Like to try it? If you think I'm bluffing you can try and throw these tapes far far away where you thought you'd never hear them again._

_Too bad, though, senpai,_

_That won't work._

_Because the next day _everyone_ will know what you did._

_And well… I'm not sure how you'll deal with that. Not like I care._

_I'm tired of stating the names of the people that are in my list. I am, however, especially furious when I wrote down your name. And you _deserved_ to be in the list. Because the name _Sasori _brings up a disgusting sick memory that happened during Hinata's party._

_Two things happened, to be exact._

_One, _

_You walked into the room and raped Konan-senpai. Yes, fucktard, I saw everything. Well okay, not only saw. You would know from listening to the previous tape that I also _heard_ everything._

_And you left her broken and half dead on the floor, not even caring what impact you might have done to her._

_But then again, _why_ would you care? She's just another girl you "have fun" with. Just another girl with the label "no harm done", right?_

_Now the next thing that you did…_

_Well, it's more personal to me._

Way_ more personal._

_After you left her, I left the room not long after, unable to stare into her empty eyes any longer._

_That was when I walked by the pool. And you pulled my hand and dragged me into the pool._

_I didn't even have time to scream because before I know it, I was in the pool and your hands were _everywhere_._

_**Pause**_

I… really didn't know what more should I be feeling.

The fact that her every word broke me; or the fact that her every word made me want to kill every person mentioned in her list.

Especially Sasori-senpai.

That bastard… he never had respect over women. Everyone at school knew that. Everyone was just afraid to tell him to stop because of what he and his family were capable of.

Oh yeah, they were that powerful that a single issue raised could have a whole battalion move town.

I wondered how he would react to her tapes.

I couldn't help but smile a small dark smile at the thought of him fearing his dear life and reputation.

I would _love_ to be the first person to finish his self esteem.

_**Play**_

Literally _everywhere._

_Not just on both of my breasts, but also inside me._

_**Pause**_

My heart beat faster.

He… did he…?

I heaved as I felt my _late_ dinner rushing out toward my throat. I ran to the bathroom and threw up.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror.

A pair of empty eyes was staring back at me.

Those eyes… they had been empty even before Sakura killed herself.

Mistake number nine.

I washed my face and calmed myself down.

I knew though, that in a few moments I'd be furious and sick again.

I took a deep breath and squeezed my eyes shut. Sakura… I didn't want to hear any of this.

It felt almost like I could hear her whisper "_I know, I'm sorry_."

_**Play**_

_And I didn't do anything to fight you._

_I knew it would be useless. Fighting you meant… well it meant I probably wouldn't be able to get out of Hinata's party on my own two feet, because you'd beat the crap out of me. _

_Another reason is because you proved me right over everything, senpai._

_And that is that I am not worth appreciating. I am not worth anything. In the end, I am just a pink haired freak who is considered one of the hottest at school thanks to that list and someone whose life couldn't get any worse._

_Need I emphasize on saying that you are so damn wrong? All of you?_

_But you, senpai, proved that to me._

_And after you left with your friends, laughing and obviously drunk, I was reminded of Konan-senpai who you left on the upstairs bedroom._

_And then… well, all those crap about "life is beautiful" that they put in the brochures handed out in the Student Support Service sessions ended up being _just crap_._

_Because when you look at me at that time, you would only see a lifeless doll that couldn't even cry or scream when a random man fingered her._

_I say it's fair that your name is in the list, don't you think senpai?_

_Deep down inside, as you listen to this, you _know_ that you deserve it don't you?_

_Oh, and, don't forget to pass it on._

_You'll be surprised to know who's next._

_Have a Hell of a life, senpai._

_**Stop**_

One more…

The last one.

Please end this now.

"_Sasuke, an Uchiha is not weak."_

Mistake number ten.

You're wrong, dad. Look at me now.

. . .

Yeah… well, this could almost be the climax of the story?

Reviews are appreciated.


	17. Tape 7 Side A

**Tape Seven**

Side A

. . .

_**Play**_

_This would be the last one._

_Let's open up the pretty red box with the green ribbon shall we?_

_Who's the last person in line?_

_Most importantly, who is the person you'd give these set of tapes to Sasori-senpai._

_Well, since its morning here…_

_Good morning, Kakashi-senpai._

And she paused.

Of course she'd pause. She knew we'd be hit by a huge amount of shock.

Kakashi-_sensei_? She wanted a _teacher_ to hear all of this? To hear all of the scandals?

What on Earth…?

_Although, of course, when all of you are listening to this then it pretty much means he has failed. _I _have failed._

_When I came up to you that Monday morning, sensei, I really am serious._

_When I talked to you about all the problems, the abuse, the untrue rumors, I am not joking. _

_When I told you I've been thinking of ending my life, I certainly am not delusional or joking. I am serious._

Oh, right. That explained a lot… I guess.

Kakashi-sensei was the school's councilor. And it was said that he had never failed in giving the people who went to him hopes and motivation.

But… with Sakura…

It seemed like she was his first failure.

Everyone failed her…

It hurt to just think about it.

_And, well, apparently I have a recording I took when I was in that one session with you. Remember, sensei? I did take out a recorder and recorded everything that we talked about._

_Well, the session went like this:_

And I could hear a clicking sound as she played the cassette player.

_Kakashi: Okay, now that you have your recorder playing, let's start. Tell me about your problems._

_Sakura: My problems? Why, you should've known sensei. The rumors are everywhere. _Literally_._

_Kakashi: I do know, Sakura. (sigh) Please cooperate. It's hard for me to do my job if you are unwilling to help. I want to know your point of view._

_Sakura: They're all lies, obviously. Sensei, I really don't know why people are all… so against me. I have done nothing wrong to them. I don't recall doing things to them that might've offended them so badly that they'd do what they did to me._

_Kakashi: I understand. Are you sure you have done nothing wrong? Because people wouldn't just do things so horrible like what they did randomly._

_Sakura: (scoff) Are you doubting what I said? I'll give you another answer I have in mind then. They all probably just wake up one day thinking "oh, let's mess up Haruno Sakura's life. This'll be fun. She'll be the first. If she's successfully down the drain, let's mess up other people's life". Is that the kind of answer you want, sensei?_

_Kakashi: Haruno, it's not like that. I'm just trying to get into different depths. _

_Sakura: Yeah, well sensei, I know that I haven't done anything to them and that my life was perfectly normal. But… really, with everything they did… It has come to my understanding that no one respects me as a human being anymore. _

_Kakashi: Sakura, what are you trying to say?_

_Sakura: I am trying to tell you that I've been considering a few different suicide methods. _

_(Silence)_

_Kakashi: (cough) Sakura, I don't tolerate serious jokes like that. Wait a second (rustle), here we go. I believe they spread this out to you during the SSS sessions. Read through them carefully Sakura and come back when you're ready._

_(Silence)_

_Sakura: I understand sensei._

_Kakashi: Good. I'll see you around then._

_Sakura: No, no you won't._

_Kakashi: What's that?_

_Sakura: Nothing. Thank you for your help sensei. I appreciate it._

_Kakashi: That's why I'm here. To help you._

_Sakura: Yes, I know. And you have done a wonderful job at that too. Goodbye._

Another click. The recording ended.

Kakashi-sensei… I couldn't believe he took what she said as jokes…

_Sensei, you are my last hope. _

_I was hoping you'd help me by giving me a solution._

_Instead, you actually thought I was joking. I am so very sorry to say that I no longer joke sensei. It's been a few months now that I last laugh wholeheartedly._

_It really is ironic how the session that's supposed to help me turns out to be the session that made me finalize my decision._

I could hear her sigh, and she paused for a long time.

_This tape would soon end._

_And this would probably be the last time you hear my voice and, I don't know, probably understand my emotion. Well, only for those who are sent these tapes, that is._

_So… let's see. I should have a big finish shouldn't I?_

Why are you smiling Sakura?

I could almost see her smile a regretful teary smile as she said that line.

I covered my face with my right hand and squeezed my eyes shut.

Uchihas had the iron mask.

Mistake number eleven.

Uchihas were the cold-hearted jerks who cared for no one.

Mistake number twelve.

An Uchiha wouldn't –_couldn't_- cry for the girl he had always called "annoying" and "weak". An Uchiha couldn't –_wouldn't_- fall in love with the girl he had always send off whenever she tried approaching him, trying to understand him more.

Mistake number

Thirteen.

_It's just too bad, I know it's ironic that I feel that when my mind is already made up, that I decided to end my life._

_I'm weak._

_Just like you've always said, Sasuke-kun._

_So, okay. This is for each and every one of you._

_Gaara. I wish I knew how it would feel to be free. Well, I will be free finally I suppose. Thank you for those beautiful days._

_Ino. Thank you for those times when you defend me from all those people who mocked me. I'm just sorry that those times have to end._

_Sai. Smiling doesn't hurt. I'm sorry to have to torture you through this. Although I doubt you will be able to ever smile sincerely again, I hope –from the deepest part of my heart- that your smile would be genuine one day. Not now, not soon. But hopefully soon enough. This means before you die._

_Hinata. You're not aware of what you're doing. I hope that your tape has somehow… I don't know, open your eyes?_

_Kankurou-senpai. Well, yeah. I guess everyone deserves a second chance. That includes you. I hope I'm your first victim. Because if there are more people… well, you just gotta stop. It doesn't take long before people recognize you._

_Tenten. You better go apologize to the old man's wife._

_Lee. Do me a favor and please burn the notes you took from me, will you? I want them to be gone because I will be soon._

_Suigetsu. I know you will be sorry after you hear this. But… well, no one can turn back time, agreed?_

_Neji. Please burn my poem that you stole as well. Please._

_Sasuke-kun. Take care of Naruto will you? I wish for your very happiness. You deserve it. …_

And then she said two words that broke my heart, at the same time that it consoled me. I smiled as the tears ran down my cheeks.

_Sasori-senpai. I'll be watching over you. Always._

_Kakashi-sensei. I am very sorry to tell you that you have failed. My only wish is that you could understand me better._

_So yeah._

_That's the end of it. The end of the tapes. The end of your temporary suffering. Well, for some I know that what you heard will stay with you for a while. I'm sorry. But I… being the selfish me, want you to hear what I gotta say. _

_Why?_

_The answer is simple._

_Because no one listens to me when I'm alive._

_So yes, I really think that the message of a dead girl… is more convincing than the message of a girl who's alive. _

_Goodbye. Thank you for listening. Although you don't really have a choice. _

_Oh, and you _have_ to pass on the tapes. I'm not bluffing when I told you that these tapes will be broadcasted publicly. So please do yourself a good favor and pass them on._

_This is Haruno Sakura. Alive, not exactly well. _

_Signing out._

_**Stop**_

. . .

One more chapter.

This story is going to be over soon. :)

Kam3910, yes I did write the poem. xD

SasuSaku Forever and Ever LOL, dude, I was actually glad that you guesstimate who'll be Mr. Porter. It's a pretty easy guess, though, yeah?

And well. Any questions, feedbacks, and comments? Please gimme some, I'll answer them in the next and _last_ chapter.

It's coming to an end! I'm kinda sad, but glad at the same time.

Reviews are appreciated.


	18. Thank You

It was yesterday that I finished listening to all of her tapes. Finished them in one day. Just because I need to keep on listening to all thirteen tapes until the end, and not pause.

When I went home that night –well, 1.30 AM to be exact- my mom was sitting in the living room. She looked at me for a long while, and then smiled.

I forgot whether I smiled back at her or not. Because the next thing I remembered was waking up in my room, on my bed, crying.

I'd already put all the tapes back in the shoebox and I wrapped it neatly with a simple brown paper. I wrote Sasori-senpai's address and sent them.

I wondered if the person who'd skip school next would be him.

. . .

When I arrived at school the next day, I couldn't help but finally notice all the people that I had always never even look at.

Lee, Kankurou-senpai, Tenten.

Because their names were in her list.

And as I looked at them and their regretful sad eyes as they glance at Sakura's table, I knew that her voice still echoed in their head still.

The same applied to me. I could still hear her even though her tapes were no longer playing through the silver cassette player and the headphone.

Naruto acted as if he knew nothing. But that was what he was supposed to be doing. He had the other set of tapes, and his job was to make sure the people who were sent the tapes listened to each and every one of them and pass them on.

Then, life went on.

In a few months time, everyone had almost forgotten about her suicide case. Those who barely talked to her couldn't even remember who Haruno Sakura was.

Me and Naruto would come over her used-to-be house and sat on the pavement in front of her house, and just talk. About school, about life, about _her_.

People stopped glancing or looking at her empty table. And when one day I saw Kakashi-sensei looking at her table with a sorry look in his eyes I knew that the tapes had finally reach him.

And I couldn't help but wonder where he took the tapes to. Did he throw it away? Or did he keep it, as a reminder of his failure?

One day after school I sat on the seat in front of her empty one. I would just sit there and stare at her empty table. Secretly hoping that all of this was just a super fucking long nightmare, and when I woke up the next morning Haruno Sakura would be sitting here, looking around at everyone she loved with bright green eyes and greeting everyone with a pleasant smile.

But when I woke up the next morning and when I entered the classroom and her seat remained empty for the rest of the day, I knew that she would never come back.

Ever.

Her name and her face were almost forgotten from everyone's mind.

That was until one day, the school's festival was coming.

It was a surprise to hear Yamanaka Ino mentioned her name when everyone in the class talked about the theme they'd have for the festival.

It was even more of a surprise to know that people agreed to go with the theme. I exchanged looks with Naruto who smiled widely with satisfaction and happiness.

The theme our class chose was _Spring's Innocence_.

Ironic, I couldn't help but think.

When I looked around I could see that the people whose names were in her list exchanged glances at each other as well. And when they all looked at me, they looked down as if they were impossibly ashamed and sorry.

Then again, no matter how sorry they were they couldn't bring back a dead person. They couldn't bring back Sakura.

And well, what I realized was that…

_If_ she hadn't died,

_If _she hadn't made the list of tapes,

Her harassments would still go on, and no one would actually feel bad or that she needed their help to stop.

That was when I understood,

That it was probably best for her… to kill herself.

Then I couldn't help but curse and blame myself.

I was one of the people she had hoped to save her.

And I had failed her, just because I was too afraid.

I refused to join in the preparation for the festival; it was all too ironic and just plain sad…

. . .

That day Naruto and I sat in front of Sakura's house again.

"So you refused to help for the preparation," he said as he ate his cup ramen. "Why?"

"You should know, Naruto," I gave him an annoyed look.

He placed his ramen cup on the ground and stared straight ahead.

"Yeah, I do know," he sighed. "Does this mean you are also thinking the same thing as me?"

"What is it that you're thinking?"

"That people felt sorry for her because she had died and those who had personally hurt her feel guilty because they were sent her tapes. If she's alive, then her harassments would still go on,"

I nodded.

"She would soon be forgotten, won't she Naruto?" I muttered. I looked up at the cloudless sky.

"Yeah, she would," I saw him nod from my peripheral vision. "It's kinda sad, isn't it?"

I couldn't help but nod.

Because it was.

In the end, she was never really appreciated.

"Sakura deserves better people than us," I turned to Naruto who nodded. I could see the tears around his eyes again.

We spent some time staring at the sky and at her neighborhood.

"Sakura-chan rode her bike to school didn't she?" he chuckled suddenly. "Remember she told us it's a good way to help the Earth, and the two of us did actually either ride a bike to school or walk because of that?"

I grinned and nodded.

"Yeah, I still walk to school even now," I said, smiling. Naruto grinned at me. I knew that he biked to school.

"She loves us so much," he said.

"Yeah," I muttered.

"But you know," he stood up. I glanced at the sky and was shocked that it showed signs of the day coming to an end, "I honestly think Sakura-chan is happy now."

His statement shocked me. Merely because I had never think of her death that way, or how she would be after her death.

"Because no one could hurt her now," Naruto smiled, answering my confused look.

I looked at him with shock. And smiled when I realized that he was indeed right.

He waved at me and walked toward his house. I stood up and waved as well as I walked on the opposite direction toward mine.

I didn't go straight home that day.

I walked to the places that she wanted me to go to in her tapes.

_Labeled A_.

The playground.

I stared at the swings and sat on one of them, thinking of what she had told me, and then thinking of our memories here.

Here, she had told both me and Naruto how to be eco-friendly.

_Labeled B._

The library.

Her favorite hangout place.

Me and Naruto only came over because she would be here, studying.

_Labeled C._

Kankurou-senpai's house.

I stared at his taped window, and wondered if all the people in her list threw rocks at his window after listening to his tapes.

"Sasuke?"

I jumped. I found Yamanaka Ino stood behind me, staring at me. I saw her blush.

"You're here too?"

She nodded.

"What're you doing here?" she asked.

"Probably the same reason as you," I answered.

She nodded as she walked closer. She stopped when she was right in front of me. She stared at me with her big cerulean eyes.

It couldn't be… lust that I see in her eyes, could it?

She reached out and touched my cheek.

"You'll get over her soon," she muttered.

Wait… _seriously_?

I stared at her, shocked at what she just said.

She started leaning in.

That's it.

I pushed her, not even bothering to be gentle, and walked away.

"Sasuke! Wait! Where are you going?" she screamed.

I sighed and turned. I saw her jumped as she looked at my expression. Stone cold. Must be.

"You could at least feel sorry for what you caused _sincerely_," I said before walking away, completely furious.

Even after she died, even after hearing what she said… Yamanaka Ino still couldn't understand her.

Suddenly, I wanted to just hug Sakura and never let go. But I could never feel her against me anymore. That bond in the party… was the last.

_Labeled D._

Stacy's.

I didn't even know Sakura came here. Well, she never did. She never liked the place.

She only came that day because of her "date" with Suigetsu.

I sighed as I stared at the place from across the street.

I shoved my hands into my sweater's pocket and walked home.

I shivered in the cold, winter would soon come.

I looked up at the dark sky. The stars had started appearing.

Then I remembered her two words that she told me in that last tape of hers.

I could almost see her say it.

Her big green eyes were probably smiling sincerely when she said it.

Her full lips were probably pulled up sweetly as she smiled.

She must've tucked a few strands of her pink hair behind her ear because that was one of her habit whenever she said something she truly meant.

Even though I couldn't see her when she said it, I knew she knew I could picture her.

I closed my eyes and I could almost see her, and hear her voice again.

It was as if the headphone was around my ears right now and I was listening to her tapes again.

And I smiled as I cried.

Those two words were the only thing that consoled me.

And it ached to think that until the end, she still loved me.

I stared at the dark sky and saw a star shoot its way across the dark, and I heard her.

_Thank you_.

. . .

That's the end.

The end of the chapters, the end of the story.

So I hope you like how it ends. I hope it's not weird or anything.

Sasuke is OOC, I'm sorry.

Well, thank you for the support and the reviews. Especially the constructive criticism.

I'm very sorry for any grammar mistakes. Just because I couldn't be bothered to proofread it. I don't really have time to go over and read each and every word. I've been so busy.

I'm sorry.

Justmyopinion, SasuSaku Forever and Ever, Sasuke's Pal, BriBri, Quirky-Green, naash, Princess of blah blah blah, wolfrider93, Dellie,

And well there are too much. But thank you for your support. Each and every one of you.

This is the end of the journey :) Thank you for reading until the end.

Reviews are appreciated.


	19. Sequel Is Up

The sequel is up, lovelies.

It's titled **Thirteen Mistakes**.

Reviews would be appreciated.


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